The future: HAZY

I worry about the future of our country. I see us heading toward a trend of continually declining social interaction...the already-superficial coffee shop meetings replaced emails and the occasional chat room discussion.

People now get together in large rooms with a plethora of computers with their headsets on. Nobody knows their neighbor; they probably haven't said one word to eachother, though they've spent hours and hours sitting so close that after awhile I'm sure they can smell them. They've taken meals together; they've

Cupcakes, Weddings and Pedicures, Oh MY!

Well, it has been a crazy week! Tara was booted from Rockstar: INXS. It turns out that Dr. Thomas tried to kill Jason 10 years ago, and then killed AJ to keep it quiet, and hypnotized Michael to forget he saw anything! Hasn't that poor kid been through enough????

Car is still running - this is a plus. I say a silent lil' Thank you Treezus every time I get in the car and it starts up. I no longer take such an event for granted.

Friday we got our cruise documents! Michele met a boy. Will he call? I hope so! She needs to feel pretty. Plus, he buys drinks, which is just frugal. Less than 20 days till Alaska, baby!

Saturday I got a pedicure. My toenails are what Stacia calls "Barbie Pink." I wasn't sure I liked the color - and I should have gone with my gut -- but it's all good. It sorta matched my dress! Also became proficient at decorating cupcakes this weekend - add "frosting assistant" to the resume, folks! (why does that sound dirty? Perhaps I'm hormonal?)

Sunday was Matt and Stacia's wedding. This is the most personal, unique and laid-back ceremony I have ever seen. At the risk of ultimate cheesiness - I don't think I have witnessed a more perfect union. If these two don't make it, my faith in humanity will be irrepairably damaged. They wrote their vows as letters to eachother - they were the sweetest things I've ever heard in my life. I should have expected it - she, an english major, he, a song writer. However, the true emotion, and pure love that was in those brief statements was so powerful. Yeah, I was cryin' like a little girl.

I saw the giraffe with the crooked neck - yes, it's creepy, and no, apparently it doesn't hurt.

After Midnight....

i'm gonna let it all hang out...!

Let's mark this as the day that things turn around! I have my car back. It purrs! So I figure for at least a week or so, I'm good to go.

I say I wish that I could get rid of my car, but who am I kidding??? I was without my car for four days and I was becoming uncharacteristically cranky and nearly downright violent. Sadly, it has become a more than necessary staple in my life. As much as I'd like to 'liberate' myself from the proverbial chain that is my vehicle, the fact is, it's difficult to get around any other way in the greater LA area. And thus, I am stuck!!! I find the bus systems to be slow, unreliable and ultimately frustrating.

I have found a new sort of joy in doing tax returns. I may be crazy, but I actually giggled when I picked up my red pencil and giggling, that's right, giggling as I began to work on the tax return. Yeah, I'm a freak. But at least work is fun!

The enforcer I'm not

I owe Goodyear another 200 bucks. So much for kicking some ass. Turns out some sensor is off and there was too much fuel getting to the engine, and then something else. Who the fuck knows, ya know?

I am tired. I'm also wandering. I don't know exactly where I want to be or how to get there. My bosses called me on it -- do like what I'm doing??? I do and I don't. I like my clients. I like making them happy. I like the people I work with, but do I want to be an accountant? NO. Have I wasted 3 years of my life? I can certainly pick some things that have made the last three years worthwhile. But have I maximized my potential? Have I done any of the many noble things that I set out to do??? Have I ever had goals?

I used to think that I was like Beth in the book Little Women -- I didn't need any dreams because I was going to die young. Well, I didn't die young. But I am starting to have that nagging, sinking feeling that I haven't exactly lived either. I think I am comparing myself to others, which in itself is bad enough. Worse yet, I am comparing myself to people who have already lived their lives -- so they've done what I'm missing out on. PLUS, I work with people that love what they do. They get up and come to work every day because they have a passion for it. They make the money and have the good things because they have followed the path they should rather than the path that ruffles the least amount of feathers.

Makes me wonder. Makes me sick. And makes me think I have a lot to think about. UGH.

Goodyear is a very misleading name!!!!

So I walked into Goodyear today ready to bust a...ready to tell them exactly what was on my mind. Ready to stand up for the little guy (or typically, girl) that is being dicked around by the mechanic that is taking advantage of said girl (or guy, to be unnecessarily fair) that just doesn't know car stuff.

So I walk in and I'm calm, and measured. The manager is calm and measured. We have a nice little chat. They tell me nothing is wrong with the car; I tell them that it is 'starting funny', but they don't believe me because each time they've tried to start it, it's started fine. (I can't imagine why they'd doubt me, with my air-tight, technically sound description of the problem: "Um, it sort of chug chug chugs when I turn the key, then it coughs, then I give it gas, then it starts..sometimes.") I mean, I really can't see how we could be miscommunicating.

I'm beginning to think that my Saturn is possessed by the spirit of the multitudes of ants and spiders I've killed over the years. I wonder how can it not possibly be enough that the ants came in the house and commandeered an entire bag full of tortilla chips? How have I not paid already when I've had to throw out many a souvenier cup because spider made it it's home???? AND I've walked into 3, count 'em THREE spider webs in the last 2 days. I don't think the spiders were still in them. I think the spiders were sitting safely tucked away somewhere within viewing distance, laughing and rubbing their grimy, tiny, hairy legs together in utter amusement.

Thankfully, just as I was about to leave, the car does it's cough cough, chug chug impression of a lifetime smoker, and won't start. The manager sheepishly comes in and tells me that my car doesn't start. It was all I could do to refrain from a big, fat DUH. Or GEEZUS CHRIST YOU MOTHERFUCKERS ARE DENSE. But since they were in charge of repairing my vehicle, I simply said, "How funny." But he knew what I meant.

My car is spending the night at the shop once again. I told them to leave it outside and leave the key in it. Perhaps then someone will steal it, and I can collect the insurance. And the ants and spiders will be someone else's problem!!

A New Hope (

Oh, August, how do I welcome thee. Or so I thought. Now, I keep saying, "August can't get worse than July." I've been warned by a good friend that I am just inviting trouble with a statement like that, and I'm starting to believe that she is right.

Though just when I've hit the lows of my self-pity, I'm reminded that I only have MINOR problems in the grand scheme of things. Today we found out that a co-worker's mom has cancer that has spread and she's been given 4 - 6 months tops, without treatment. This is a woman that was vibrant and charming and wonderful at ther first grandchild's baby shower just a few months ago.

Minor note...once again my car is at Goodyear. I'm going to lay the smack down on their asses this time. They're going to fix the mother up real nice. Yeah,I know I'm too white for that.