Regrets

So I'm in denial that I'm 26, and all grown up. It seems strange to me to be thinking of job security, family, settling down, the merit of school systems, retirement plans, etc. I feel like there's so much left to do in my 20s and my 20s are passing me by. I feel like there was much I didn't do in my teens...and I had no idea I was going to feel that way.

I am grateful that I have a concept of regret these days -- I usually know when I'm going to be bummed I missed out on something now. I think before I did things with a lot less thought...I didn't "feel" like doing this...or "feel" like doing that...not recognizing the valuable experience. Now, I still don't "feel" like doing a lot of things, and some I force myself to do, and others I don't....the difference is I realize that later on I might wish I'd done it...and that weighs in my decision. This probably makes no sense.

I only have one major regret that turns my stomach and makes me feel awful. And I don't think I can fix it, because the absolute repair of the situation isn't up to me. I did a bad thing, and broke trust. I felt justified at the time; I was hurt, and didn't know how to react. I've forgiven and begun trusting again, but I think it might not be possible for the other person to forgive me, and that makes me sad. We have a great history -- fun, crazy, cool times, and I wish we could have some of that back.